one problem that I used to have with summer is that
I started planning when it isn't even spring yet
surreal fantasy building up and swirling on my mind since then
and the result would be either
WOOOOOW this is the most fabulous summer I've ever had
or
um... how come so soon that's the end? I didn't even feel summer's ever here
well this year
prolly due to the severe post-summative trauma
my summer holiday kicked off right after some good nights' sleep
without me envisioning what might happen or what is the way I wish it happen
perhaps it is one of the evidence that I've grown up and no longer have to live with fantasies anymore
or my laziness deteiorated and met-ed into brain and bone?
waving goodbye to June
I found my arm a lil heavy to be lifted
besides the fact that I've gained weight in a tremendous pace this year
perhaps it's also because
I haven't properly sorted out my feelings after a month of pushy days and nights
my spirits aren't settled
I still feel them leaping around in high energy status
my TDS migraine today is reminding me not to go out today and tmr to get the job done
before I set off to another trip
before I set free my spirits of thoughts to the land of unknown
June has been a busy month immersed in hea-ness for me
as a whole in retrospect I realized in this month
I've been paying the bills for my subpar hard work and tuneless lifestyle throughout year1
and I found the amount that I gotta pay
exceeds the sum of my savings
ok... metaphors get me dizzy let's stop it
frankly
too much of my own limitations and weakness showed up themselves these days
that to an extent that I feel the urge to prove to myself my ability and strength to overcome them when the next semester commences
so I can't wait for september to come
when I can re-pick up my confidence and live the life of my own
this is the first time
that I feel
my summer is too long
