Monday, 29 June 2009

• one problem that I used to have with summer is that
  I started planning when it isn't even spring yet
  surreal fantasy building up and swirling on my mind since then
  and the result would be either
  WOOOOOW this is the most fabulous summer I've ever had
  or
  um... how come so soon that's the end? I didn't even feel summer's ever here
  
  well this year
  prolly due to the severe post-summative trauma
  my summer holiday kicked off right after some good nights' sleep
  without me envisioning what might happen or what is the way I wish it happen
  perhaps it is one of the evidence that I've grown up and no longer have to live with fantasies anymore
  or my laziness deteiorated and met-ed into brain and bone?

  waving goodbye to June
  I found my arm a lil heavy to be lifted
  besides the fact that I've gained weight in a tremendous pace this year
  perhaps it's also because
  I haven't properly sorted out my feelings after a month of pushy days and nights
  my spirits aren't settled
  I still feel them leaping around in high energy status
  my TDS migraine today is reminding me not to go out today and tmr to get the job done
  before I set off to another trip
  before I set free my spirits of thoughts to the land of unknown

  June has been a busy month immersed in hea-ness for me
  as a whole in retrospect I realized in this month
  I've been paying the bills for my subpar hard work and tuneless lifestyle throughout year1
  and I found the amount that I gotta pay
  exceeds the sum of my savings

  ok... metaphors get me dizzy let's stop it
  frankly
  too much of my own limitations and weakness showed up themselves these days
  that to an extent that I feel the urge to prove to myself my ability and strength to overcome them when the next semester commences
  so I can't wait for september to come
  when I can re-pick up my confidence and live the life of my own

  this is the first time
  that I feel
  my summer is too long

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